The corner stone of any quality blog is the ‘How-To’ post. How-To pick an avocado, how-to live rent free, how to paint furniture.

How-To’s get pinned on pinterest. They get liked on facebook. How-To’s go viral.

I’m in no position to tell anyone how to do much anything. That’s not currently a service we offer. Ok, perhaps with the exception of a dog topic or two. I’ve got broad personal and professional experience to cover those. When it comes to dirt though, to growing, starting, tending and all tasks Ugly Garden… Well, how about you tell me? Otherwise, here’s how I’m currently not.

Lettuce table, I officially declare you, epic fail. Read more

She cleans up pretty nice, my Ugly Garden. She’s been barked.

That helped her looks (and the weed control) considerably. You’ll also note the absence of cloches, which also doesn’t hurt appearance wise. After we got off to some nice solid spring weather, I took them down. Spring! June! It must be time! Read more

Something I haven’t shared much of is Ugly Garden when it’s not overcast and drizzly. There’s a good reason for that. It’s because I live in Seattle.

Even Seattle gets sun sometimes. And when we do it is a glorious thing. Like someone in a bad relationship, we all pretend the good times are here to stay. That the weather will always be exactly this way. For all my bemoaning of Ugly Gardens, well… ugliness, she is not without her redeeming qualities. First of which, is that even if she’s not a looker, she’s functional. Yes folks, Ugly Garden grows food.

Most recently, we’ve been enjoying broccoli.

Read more

When I heard Williams-Sonoma was going to sell Chicken Coops, I thought it was an April Fool’s joke. It’s not. Not only are they selling Coops, they are launching a whole “Agrarian” line (doesn’t that sound adventurous?), complete with super attractive seeds packs, raised beds, expensive vintage tub planters, DIY mozzarella kits, and canning equipment out the wazoo. Basically, if we are doing it here at Dogs or Dollars I can now buy the supplies at Williams-Sonoma.

Isn’t that exciting?

No. No, it isn’t. Because, in my short little tenure as a wanna-be urban homesteader, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that this ain’t always pretty.

The view of Ugly Garden a few days ago: plastic, PVC, scavenged wood, milk jugs, goat poop, mud, and grass. Adventurous maybe. Glamourous No. I think I’m getting a pretty decent framework set, for what could be a productive garden. *fingerscrossed* However, Ugly Garden won’t be winning re-pin contests on pinterest anytime soon.

Apparently, I’m getting into this late. Urban Homesteading has now reached the masses, via corporate infiltration. There is something good about that. People growing their own food, as trends go, that’s a positive one. But, this is a little different than entertaining on your patio. It’s not just about buying the $2,000 barbecue and all the expensive accessories. There is a lot more work involved, and some part of it is always going to be dirty.

Not to mention that $150 for a raised bed is going to put you a little behind the cost/benefit curve.

As part of Ugly Garden makeover, I’d contemplated changing her name. Giving her a more respectable moniker.

Nah. On second thought, I think Ugly Garden is just right.

Now that expansion is complete, fence is fenced, goat poop is spread, and the dust hasn’t settled, but has only just begun, we have seven 4ft X 6ft beds. My strategy is simple: grow things we will eat. Imagine that, right? It’s true though, things we will eat fresh and preserved, things we use lots of, especially in winter months. I’m trying for more of fewer crops, and a smaller weekly grocery budget. Here’s the break down:

Bed One: Strawberries. This was in place last year, although the berries shared space with beans and cucumbers. I have a couple heads of garlic puttering along since last fall. When those are done, I’ll add more berries, and there will be no more sharing.

Bed Two: Winter Garden. This is last year’s original hoop house, still puttering along. A marked improvement from last month.

It’s a mixed mostly brassica bag. My spinach continue to do well and I have high hopes for brocoli.

Although I lost my cauliflower to frost. When these things finally bolt, I’ll replant with sugar pumpkins. Pumpkins are a completely new crop for us. We make a lot of pumpkin pie, bread, muffins, pancakes and bars in the fall/winter. Plus, I think these would be a good barter crop.

Bed Three: Currently sporting the flattering red plastic mulch, in preparation for tomatoes. This will be the deciding ground for the months and months of tomato growing I’ve already done. They will start transitioning outside later this month. The bed will be cloched before they take up residence. I would like to have enough tomatoes to preserve some of our own. I realize this may not happen.

Bed Four: Basil. Another finicky, gamble of a crop, especially when you are dedicating a whole bed to it. We like pesto though. On pizza, pasta, and meat. I’d like to have a boatload of it for our freezer. The basil has just sprouted under the grow lights, and will also be living under a cloche as it’s outdoor introduction.

Bed Five: Cucumbers. We are down to our very last jar of homemade pickles. They’ve only lasted this long because I’ve fiercely defended them against pilfering from friends and family. I am not sure I can ever go back to store-bought. I’m growing three varieties of pickling cucs and hope to be able to give out pickles as Christmas presents. Our two little plants last year kept us in all the fridge pickles we could eat, so here’s hoping. As with the tomatoes, I am not completely discounting the possibility that I will have to do a big purchase.

Bed Six: Onions.

Two types, storage and pearl. Something else we seem to use tons of. Right now, an entire bed dedicated to my teeny tiny onion starts seems excessive. When I am eating an egg salad lunch for the second (or third) time in a week it will appear less so.

Bed Seven: Parsnips, our root vegetable of choice. I just planted the seeds in our deepest, tallest raised bed this week. Not cloched, so sprouting may take a bit .They won’t even begin to be harvested until after the first fall frost. I’m hoping I can overwinter them. Keep them in the ground for convenient harvest through out winter.

I’m not done yet! Just because the beds are full, doesn’t mean I haven squeezed in some other crops. I’ve got six burlap coffee sacks, with seed potatoes planted inside.

This may not be the best idea for potato growing, but since I was limited on space, I’m giving it a shot.

Someday, there will also be raspberries. The three bushes I planted last spring, all appear to be coming back, as do the two golden raspberry starts I bartered for last fall. On Saturday, I added seven additional bare root starts. I’m a little skeptical about the bare root varieties, but for the price they couldn’t be beat.

While we are talking berries, my three blueberry bushes are also thriving. I’ve been mulching them with the acid rich foods they love. Evergreen needles in the fall, coffee grounds recently, and everything is fit to burst. I’m adding one more bush, bought with a 40% off coupon, to round out the group.

And an honorable mention goes out to the Asparagus Crowns I planted, and haven’t seen hide nor hair of again, and my beloved Columnar Apple Tree which is still with us.

But wait, there’s more! I’m starting fennel and dill under the grow lights right now. They will go in containers… somewhere. I’m currently still in the market for a spot for beans.

Wow! That’s it. That’s everything. I’ve said before, and I will probably say a hundred more times as I go along, I’ve no idea what I’m doing. I read. I follow instructions on the seed packets. I try to exercise some common sense. With the scale of operation I’m attempting here (a major expansion from last year), I’m bound to get bit in the ass.

Despite my early melodramatic misgivings, in the words of Monty Python, they are not dead yet.

They are certainly not without imperfection. Who among us is? Are you gonna judge?

I’m referring to them as ‘scrappy’ in their mismatched, scavenged pots proudly boasting wounds of early mistreatment.

Maybe again with the melodrama.

If we look at the tops, everything is peachy.

New healthy leaves, and they continue to grow and grow and grow. I have to keep raising their light.

Course, these pictures are mostly of the healthy batch, who’ve inexplicably done markedly better than their siblings.

While not the most fabulous picture, it does show the difference between the mover-shakers, and the just gonna kind of putter along’s in my small tomato community.

These two were planted at the same time, from the same seeds. Differences are one may have lived in an egg carton, and the other was up potted one week earlier. Note to self and general PSA: Do not use egg cartons for starting tomatoes.

Why the recovery? What have I done?

Up-Potted. Even my thriving starts were starting to look increasingly rough around the edges. Advice on when or if one should move them to bigger digs is mixed. It was fish or cut bait time. I collected all the recycled pots and yogurt/sour cream/take-out containers I could get my hands on, and made the leap. At first I did just the big boys. They did so well, I moved the stragglers last weekend.

Stopped Watering. In a big way. When I up-potted the successful bunch, I used moistened seed start and a bit of compost. I then proceeded to check them obsessively, but not actually give them water for FOUR DAYS. They didn’t need it. A recent visit to a more experienced friend’s house and a look-see at his plants, showed me I was really really over watering. The soil his plants were in was significantly drier. I now give much smaller sips of water, much less frequently, typically just once a day. There has been a few missteps and casualties. On the whole, everyone is happier with the decreased agua situation.

Fertilized. Another case where there doesn’t seem to be any exact way or time to do this. All plants got a very dilute fish emulsion (ewww) mixture shortly before giving them their fancy new dairy container homes. As mentioned, I also added a small amount of commerical compost to their seed starting soil at that time. No idea if that was right or wrong.

And I’m brewing up a batch of vermicompost.

It needs a little more water in this picture. There are worms in there. Hard at work making plant food for future fertilization.

Will they survive? Can they fully recover?

I think they are on the mend. I’ve never done this before, so what do I know? There is undoubtedly some ugliness still going on. They could have some sort of fungus, which will impact the new, improved leaves any second now. I could have done irreparable damage to them with my mistreatment from a young age. There is also still plenty of time to screw this up further. Its barely mid-March. This is all part of an elaborate plan, but I think I’ve demonstrated, plan or no, execution can still be compromised.

This tomato project, its eating up a ridiculous amount of my time, mental cycles, and growing space. There is basically no room for additional starts. I’ve squeezed in a small tray of spinach and my onions solider on. Everything else is going to have to be sown in a cloche. Next year more lights, more surface area, or less tomatoes.

Ugly Garden is gonna need a new name. She’s moving on up. Expanding her horizons. In the midst of an extreme make over. You get the picture. There’s been a lot of outside work going on in the winter of our discontent around here. A lot more outside work, and still with so much to do.

She’s not quite there yet, but the metamorphosis has begun. March = Crunch Time. I am feeling the pressure. The pressure of a fence, unfenced and beds, unfilled. Frame work? yes. Garden? no. Stuff is supposed to start going in the ground, any second now, and I’ve no where for it to go.

Do. Not. Panic.

While The Husband plugs away at the big projects, I comfort myself by taking care of the plants I do have. Starting with my mostly a failure of a hoop house.

It looks happier than it is, believe me. For a variety of reasons (late start, not enough know how, and continual pillaging by mystery critters), this effort has been pretty unproductive, outside of a couple of spinach harvests. Lately I’ve taken to watering it with a diluted whey mixture to fertilize and cut down on any mold/mildews. Everything has perked up. Just when you are ready to compost the lot of these non-food making ingrates, you find this…

Hope, disguised as the smallest baby cauliflower I’ve ever seen. Of course, I photographed it. Miniscule as it is, it looks suspiciously like victory. I stifled the urge to dip it into some ranch dressing and enjoy the taste of that victory. As much as I’d like to I’m holding out against all odds that it will get bigger. I’m also ready

and hoping for better luck next year.

Berries have been weeded and mulched. All varieties are showing signs of life. Heck I’m even attempting to plant my mushrooms that did so well inside, outside.

Will it work? I do not know! Worth a shot.

All this ‘not being ready’ is leaving me with a bunch of nervous energy. The ornamentals are all tended. Have been since February. That never happens.

And I am chicken ready! We are T-minus 11 days until Chick Arrival Event. Most of their supplies, except food and pine shavings are in place. My laundry room will never be the same.

I pray I won’t be writing a Killing Tomatoes post with a much more unfortunate title.

Are you noticing a theme here? Prayer. Hope. Nerves. Technically, this is Year 2 of the Ugly Garden Experiment. It feels like Year 1. The to-do list, the purpose, it all seems much more so. About that to-do list, there is…

Soil and compost to order.
Lettuce Table to build boxes for and sow.
I’ve Coffee Sacks to plant potatoes in. Potato arrival pending.

There are herbs to collect from friends and transplant.
Fertilizer to procure.
Not to mention the obvious fence and coop finish.

That’s what I can think of off the top of my head. It only scratches the surface. On second thought, I better savor that small bite of victory while I have the chance.

Finally finished reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and I’ve moved on to Urban Farm Handbook. Notice a theme here? As Ugly Garden putters along towards winter, my head is a-swim with thoughts of food production; raised beds, crop rotation, compost, heirloom varieties, and most importantly chickens! I’m planning a tremendous spring.

This is the time of year for planning. It gets light at 7:30 and dark at 4:30. These times correspond remarkably well with my departure for and return from Corporate Servitude. There aren’t daylight hours for much else. But, plotting and scheming can happen after hours from a comfy chair, often with crochet in my hands.

Yes, we are in the research portion of events. I know that eventually I’m going to have to get busy. Well before official Spring, I hope. Sometime post January. February?

Other than reading, here’s what I’m up to…

Ever used Pinterest? If you haven’t, don’t.  Its a black hole time suck of the interwebs. Possibly THE black hole time suck of all black hole interweb time sucks. But, I’m attempting to use it’s powers for good. As a way to capture all the links and pictures and ideas I run across, and later wish to share with The Husband. It works, as long as I don’t get sucked into what’s currently cute on etsy.

I’ve requested seed and poultry catalogs. These are harder to come by than I thought they would be. I’m anxiously awaiting their arrival like a Sears Christmas Wishbook from my childhood. I’m open to suggestions for good sources and companies, if anyone has wisdom to impart.

Savings account. For several months now, I’ve been directing a paltry $50  towards spring projects. I’ll need to increase that after the new year, but it should help soften the blow of some of these projects.

Christmas List. I’ve cultivated my Holiday requests to align with increased food production. This year I’m asking for a Food Dehydrator and a Mixer. I’d like to dry herbs and tomatoes, increase the quality of our homemade bread, and maybe even make sausage. Hopefully Santa is listening.

Prioritizing. The goals for Spring/Summer 2012 are simple: Increase garden space.  Get Chickens.

For Ugly garden to grow,  a couple things that need to happen; the death  of an unfortunately placed Lilac, the relocation of not 1, but 2, compost bins. Beyond that there will be fencing and beds to be built, and oh yeah, we are going to need some plants (or seeds as it were). See where my little savings account will come in handy?

Chickens. I’m most excited (and intimidated) about this. There’s a pack of dogs in the mix here. They may not take too kindly to  backyard residents. Because of this my ladies of poultry will need to be secured. There is a garden shed to transform in to Chicken Alcatraz, complete with their own fenced yard. I’m researching chicken breeds, debating chicks or hens and winter layers. I’m fretting over disease and deaths (natural and otherwise), and heat lamps and noise. But, make no mistake we will have chickens.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What about preservation? I already know we need to do a massive crop of cucs for pickles, and garlic, and green beans (to freeze and pickle). I’d like to plant Asparagus crowns. Potatoes! Don’t forget potatoes! And on and on it  goes. The planning may be more thought consuming than the actual doing.

I’m trying to take a page from Soule Mama, and Chiot’s Run. Breath. Enjoy the process, and know that it will all happen. Right?

Here is the state of my Spinach…

And here is the state of my bedside table…

I usually floweth over with books. Apparently, scary books from the look of my current rotation. Bedside table real estate has gotten particularly sparse with the addition of garden books, as I plot my plans for next year, and try to figure out what the heck is eating my spinach.

Slugs have been the prime suspect. I’ve sluggo’d. Then I thought it was earwigs. I got sluggo plus, and put out a beer trap for good measure. Still organic here, folks. I then did a round of neem oil in soapy water for good measure. No dice. Something is snacking on my spinach. And it ain’t me.

I eat a lot of spinach, so I had high hopes for this particular crop. High hopes that are being thwarted by an unknown nemesis. All in all fall gardening is not turning out to be all that great. If it weren’t for Miners Lettuce (which is a native) and my fabulous indoor oyster mushrooms, which just keep on keepin’ on, I wouldn’t have anything to eat that I’d grown.

Cabbage, brocoli, cauliflower, and even chard are really doing only meh in their hoop house home. Its very sad. Maybe I just have overly high summer growing season standards. I’m trying to be understanding. They have a lot less sunlight and, although it hasn’t frozen yet, its pretty cold in the mornings. I’ll cut them some slack. If I could just get some damn spinach…

I have a handy dandy email address for the Garden Hotline, procured at last month’s Harvest Festival. I’m going to email them the pictures of my compromised plants. Maybe they have theories on the identity of the perpetrator(s).

In the mean time, I’ll console myself with my third round of mushroom growth! Look at ‘em go!