Where to Begin?
How do you pick up something you put down 6 months ago? And when you do simply pick it back up, how do you compensate for all that time away? It’s difficult. Whether its a barbell or a blog. Although, its a little more straight forward with inanimate objects. You know its probably going to be painful. You can avoid or embrace. Ok, maybe not so different from here. But, blogs and readers and spaces seem more difficult. They feel neglected. They lose interest. They move on. And really who can blame them? Because isn’t that what I did? For half a year or so.
It’s not so much that I moved on, actually. As I ran out of time. When I went back to work, this became another item on my very long list of ‘To Do’. A list that never seemed to get any shorter. Something had to give. It wasn’t going to be sleep. Or my kid. Or the already meager amounts of exercise I’d been getting. And so, apologies DorD (or rather you, the readers), you had to take a back seat. A way back seat in the school bus of my life, as it turned out. Don’t worry, all the cool kids sit in the back.
Things Happened. It’s been a … year. There are adjectives for this year, but I’m not sure what they are, or should be. More than one. And they contradict each other. Fruitful. Devastating. Transformative. Growth. Good. And, another round of devastating. Babies grew. Milestones were reached. Priorities did indeed shift. Jobs came. And went. The landscape of my family changed, forever. Much of that was positive. And what wasn’t was unavoidable.
Where am I? Currently, at my dining room table, furiously typing away, trying to avoid the mind numbing pull of social media, amidst the ever present sound of dog snore, determinedly drinking my coffee before my toddler (toddler!?! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!? How the hell did that happen?) wakes up and my day begins in earnest. We will leave the house today. We will go to the grocery store. We will go to the gym. Its a Tuesday you’ll note. What am I telling you in my cagey way?
I am no longer employed outside the home.
I’ll let you sit with that. As I am still sitting with it. Its a relatively new development. Such a long time coming. Now that it’s here, it’s odd to say. And it was a rough getting here. We did about a month and a half of two parents working full-time, running our wee lad from childcare provider we trust to beloved friends willing to pick up some slack. It was not a permanent situation. And while, I know many, many, many parents do it across the industrialized world over, in my opinion, this whole dual working parents things, it is for the birds. Virtually, all the ‘extra’ money we made from the second income, flew out the convenience-no-time-for-anything window. I breathed a sigh of relief when it finally came to an end. By way of me amicably parting ways with my Corporate Overlords.
Maybe temporarily. They talk about wanting me back. About contracts and flex schedules and job shares. They pretend they understand this mom thing. But, this second voluntary exit has been brought to us by The Husband. The Husband, who wisely used his stint as Stay at Home Dad to find a sweet new gig. One with guaranteed hours, lovely benefits, and *gasp* even vacation time. It might even involve a local government agency. So, we’ll see if Corporate America can figure out how to accommodate a working mom, who’d rather not be. If not, meh. The point remains, I am unemployed. In the traditional meaning of the world And that’s fine. (Better than fine, honestly). I’ve got plenty to keep me busy right here. Speaking of…
Just who is that dog!?
To be continued…