The Implications of Being Pregnant
Wait, wha? Pregnant? Who said anything about being pregnant? Certainly not me. Not here. Until, just now. Oh, right. Pregnant. Knocked up. In the family way. Me. We. Currently. Surprised?
Apologies for the crappy picture. There’s a humanoid in there. Believe me. Via Ultrasound via cell phone camera, does not make for the best image quality. Plus Ultrasound pictures are always kind of creepy.
I’m not. Or I shouldn’t be. Because it was ‘planned’. At least as much as anything in life can be ‘planned’.
Although, it enhanced the tremendous amount of respect I have for the birth control I’ve always taken for granted. What does surprise me, is the effect it’s had on me. Already. Physically. Mentally. In all the ways. All that time I’ve not been writing, I have been sleeping. Epic sleeps. I’m just coming around from a good solid 12 hours. That’s the new standard. 14-16 hours also pretty effortless. I may take a nap later to up my total. If I’m not sleeping, I’m pursuing other new found past times, like staring off into space, watching past seasons of TV shows I’m not all that interested in. Occasionally, if I’m really with it, I read. It has taken me 2 weeks to write this post. I’m not even kidding. I’m fresh out of giddy-up. This person building, even in it’s earliest stages, turns out to be really, really taxing. And not in a way I can just write a check for.
And that’s it. That’s my big reveal. Big news for me. Average news in the scope of all mankind. I strive to remember that peoples been doing this business for a very.long.time. That doesn’t necessarily make it easier. It does tend to put into less of an earth shattering perspective. Still, like the title says, there are implications to this decision. Implications relevant to the Dogs or Dollars journey.
Corporate Servitude. One way or another it will be coming to an end. Permanently? Temporarily? Yet to be determined. You can probably guess which I’d prefer. In the meantime, my regular Servitude responsibilities are seriously kicking my ass. What’s worse than being woken up at 2am to work on a bunch of shit you don’t care about for the next 3 hours? As it turns out, doing that while fighting waves of nausea, dry heaving, and nursing a hell of a headache, totally, totally worse. Whodathunk. Its providing a lovely reminder that this particular job is not sustainable with a small child at home to take care of. In the mean time I’m doing my best to cope and working diligently on that…
Hope & Fake Budgets Hey, Look! Another post in which I ominously refer to ‘major life changes’ without offering specifics. Frustrating, aren’t I? Hope still exists, but those fake budgets are going to become very real once ‘Maternity Leave’ kicks in. I put that in quotes because it sounds like you would get something. You don’t. Not from my employer. I will be sans income, for quite sometime if I have my druthers. Sacred cows are being re-examined. It might actually be re-re-examined at this point. No Spend Month was quite helpful with this. In my head there’s a post on No Spend Month: Lessons Learned. Will it make it here?
Dogs. Speaking of those sacred cows. I’ve got a pack of ‘em. The implications here are two fold. Kids, especially babies, effect dogs. As do reduced budgets. We’ve actually held off on having kids because of potential impact to the dogs. (Go ahead and laugh). However, I’d like any offspring of mine to know these dogs, and vice versa. I live in fear of the ‘starter kid’ scenario. Dogs that are vanquished to garages, backyards or worse once junior shows up. My determination to not let that happen to my mutts is iron clad. We have to figure out how to make this workable for everyone, dogs included. Expect posts (another one) on sacrifices I’m willing to make, the ones I’m not, and on preparing old dogs for a new human.
Parenting. The new host of concerns on the block. Everything else I’ve already been struggling with. Actually having the baby though, new ball of wax…erm bundle of joy? I’m trying to mentally prepare for the birth, for the sleepless nights, for more vaccination decisions (!!!), and for everything else that comes after. I read books. I get overwhelmed. I stop reading. I go back to this being a normal life function, and not something I’m going to inherently foxtrot up. I do all the small things I can to prepare (like try to sleep) and chip away the big things (refinishing a claw foot bathtub, anyone?). Actually, I don’t do much of anything, other than the sleeping and staring off into space. I’m told that will pass though. Assuming it does, and soon, I’ll actually get some stuff done.
People keep asking me “Aren’t you excited?!”. It takes all my restraint not to answer with a resounding “Duh”. New people are exciting business. It’s the most I’ve anticipated meeting a new person. That’s quickly chased with a heaping spoonful of worry and concern. It doesn’t mean I’m all googly eyes and nursery plans. Or that I’m not. Implications, a good word in and of itself, new and old abound. I’ve only scratched the surface here. And so the Dogs or Dollars journey takes (another) left turn. Its an evolution.
Asking how children changed your life seems really, really trite so I’m not asking. But if anyone is telling, be my guest. Just try not scare me. How do you prepare for major life changes, children or otherwise?